Making Do After Divorce

The Shattering Consequences of a Divorce

I don't know where to begin.

First off, my youngest child is on SSI (disability). My ex-husband and I divorced (uncontested) originally for his sake.

My ex went into 2 business ventures. One with his cousins and brother-in-law and one with a friend.

In May of 2005, he was accused of allegedly embezzling over $150,000 from the business with his cousins.

He had a girlfriend, I found out later (I am always the last to know) which he spent a lot of money on. He bounced a lot of checks.

This was before Hurricane Katrina.

Since then, he took almost all of the insurance money and only gives a little at a time.

I just got a job but it is not enough to keep this roof over our heads and I can't pay my credit cards.

I had to use them to pay for things for my children at the time. I don't know what to do or who to turn to.

Can you please give me some advice?

Lisa

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When you got divorced was there a property settlement and/or child support agreement?

If there were and your ex is in breach, that is the first place to start. If you had a lawyer, pay him a visit. Otherwise I’m sure Legal Aid or some other such agency will try to enforce the divorce order(s) for you.

There are commercial firms that collect unpaid support and alimony judgments, but be careful using them and make sure you understand their fee structure.

Next look at your divorce decree. Who is responsible for what? Does your ex own the house fully or in part.

If he is not the sole owner, you might want to contact the insurance company and let them know that they have paid the wrong person and you will seek legal redress unless they pay you for your loss.

A lawyer will be able to advise you if this is correct in Louisiana (where I assume you live), which uses a version of the old French Napoleonic code and which is quite different from English common law used in the rest of the country.

Otherwise, there seems to be a lot of charitable relief and federal rebuilding money making its way down there and you might be able to qualify for some of that, at least to get your house repaired.

The rest of your ex’s problems should not affect you directly: you can’t be held liable for his fraud – unless of course, you had something to do with it. But it can affect you indirectly by making it impossible for him to pay child support, for instance.

One problem your ex-husband faces is that he cannot discharge either child support or fraud judgments in bankruptcy. He can also wind up in jail – which might make you feel better, but which won’t help your finances a bit.

It sounds like you’ve been through hell and back and it’s really hard to give you anything but moral support.

First call up FEMA or whoever else is doling out money to homeowners down there and see if they will give you enough money to make your home livable.

Then call a lawyer and see what your rights are. He might be able to negotiate with your creditors, as well as advise you on the insurance matter and other legal issues.

If necessary, see a credit counselor. You will need to do so anyway before you can file for bankruptcy. He might be able to help.

Finally there is bankruptcy itself. In your situation, I would seriously consider the cons – like the inability to get a job or apartment – before taking that step. The lawyer or credit counselor can help you better than I can.

I wish you luck.

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I had written to you before. My ex has carried out some of his threats. He cut off the phones and dropped my vehicle insurance and called OCS to try and take my children away.

We had an uncontested divorce and never had settled child custody or property, however that is being done now. He had put me into credit card debt.

I want to get credit counseling but I don't know who to call.

I am trying to put my life back together and get away from his violent and destructive ways. This has cost me all of my retirement.

Lisa

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I'm sorry to hear that things have gotten worse for you.

You really need some legal help. If you can't afford an attorney contact your local Legal Aid office. This is a federally funded program that specializes in problems like yours.

Or call your local bar association's Lawyers Referral Service and see if there are any family law attorneys who do pro bono work - this means they donate their time in certain cases. As far as credit counseling is concerned, Legal Aid, your local city hall or even your library should be able to steer you to the nearest Consumer Credit Counseling Services office. They are located throughout the country and work for low fees.

At this point you can't file for bankruptcy without a credit counseling session so make the best of it.

Finally try to make contact with local groups that provide support for abused spouses. I don't really know if you would qualify, but they might be able to hook you up with a group that does.

I hope you can find a solution to your problems.

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